the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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