first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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