Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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