thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Randomize
