go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
