If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
