You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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