The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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