none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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