Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
