you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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