She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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