yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
