I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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