You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
