so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
