I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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