Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
