I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
