My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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