She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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