i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
