I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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