What a fucking waste of an outfit
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize