how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
