woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
