One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
