Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I have tasted many bathrooms
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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