My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize