yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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