Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
