My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
