It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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