we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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