Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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