I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He better not be in your backpack
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
