Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My breasts were aching with rage.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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