no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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