im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We talked him into tasing himself.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
