honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
