So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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