Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
