i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
