I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
