dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
