You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
