So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
