The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
