get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
