By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
