Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
