3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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