were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
