Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize