ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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