I want to stick my p in your. b.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Please don't give away my fajitas
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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