I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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