If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize