Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
