I don't think brook has ever known best
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
