i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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