I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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